Our family has recently moved into the ward. I will take just a few minutes to introduce ourselves.
Boaz is our youngest. He is in the sixth grade and learning to play the trumpet. He is loving 11 year old scouts. we are grateful to those that dedicate time in their lives to work with our boys. He is happy, fun-loving and anxiously engaged in being good.
Josh is a sophomore in high school. If you were here last week, you had a chance to learn a bit about him during his talk. He runs cross country and plays the trombone. Seminary is good for him.
We have a daughter currently living in Salem, Oregon. She is an agent for Allstate. We are excited to see her this Thanksgiving.
I have a few secrets to tell you about me. These are things that were deep and dark when I was younger. I hate looking ridiculous. I am afraid of being in water over my head. I didn't know how to laugh at myself. I hate not being in control of myself. I don't like to be the center of attention. Some other things about me: I love the ocean. I watch documentarys. I think I have seen every episode of The Blue Planet. I get lost all the time, especially in buildings. Craig can drive somewhere and know how to get there 20 years later. I rely on the GPS in the car. Craig was super nice to me and bought me a car that tells me how to get home. That helps me be brave driving here in California.
Those might seem like random things. And some of them are, but there are reasons that I told you some of m secrets. About a year and a half ago, Craig and I had an opportunity to go to Hawaii with some of his family. We were three couples. The other two couples were experienced Hawaii travelers. We were happy to tag along and just experience the Islands.
Brad, Craig's brother, does research before he goes on a trip. He decided he wanted to snorkle with the manta rays off the Kona coast. We were all sitting in the condo, maybe after dinner, the first or second night of the trip when he mentioned it. I think I held my breath. The idea of snorkling with manta rays filled me with excitement and dread - contridictory emotions.
Remember I love the ocean. I love watching documentarys about the ocean. Up to this point, the furthest I had ever been in the ocean was wading with my pants rolled up. I had never been snorkeling. My biggest experiences in the water were with swimming pools, water parks, rivers or resevoirs. The ocean is entirely different.
However, I have learned that life is better if I can manage to ignore my fear, or force myself past my fear. So I had three days to learn how to snorkle and get ready to swim in deep water with really big fish.
My first exxpereince snorkeling they picked a shallow beach. You could see the flashing yellow in the water standing above it. I wanted to do it so bad, that I wore a blow up floaty to keep me afloat. I should say that I am an almost swimmer. I have the basic skills, I just need to practise them. I can float on my own. The issue is my fear of being in water over my head. So this first beach I put on the flippers and mask and with Craig by my side and my in-laws as my cheerleaders, I leveled out and put my face in the water. And water seeped into my mask. I thought I was doing it wrong. I stood up, emptied my mask and tried again. I got to where I would raise my head and release the water. Because there were fish down there. My desire to see the fish was bigger than my discomfort with my mask. eventually we discarded my floaty and I snorkled holding Craig's hand.
My people just thought I was gettign aclimated to having my face in the water. They had no idea I was struggling with a leakiy mask.
Next they decided I was ready for the big water. Sandy, Craig's sister, had a boogie board. They took me to Two Step. I had to take two really big steps off the lava rock into the water that was way over my head. As long as I had the boogie board I was fine. Eventually it was just me and the boogie board. Craig at one point came and got me because I was getting a bit too far our. The fish in this location were amazing. I saw maybe 20 different varieties, all colors and sizes. I had decided the sloshing water in my mask was just part of the experience.
Thursday, the day of, we went to a different beach. The waves were big and I had to figure out how to inter the waves with my flippers. I got over anxious and went in before Craig was ready for me and a big wave tumbled me head over flippers. I staggered to my feet, arms windmilling and lost my mouthpiece. I was devastated. I thought maybe the ocean would bring it back to me and I searched the surf for a long time. I prayed and asked for a miracle, explaining in my prayer how badly I wanted to learn how to do this amazing thing. Eventually we all gave up and I bobbed in the water with Kris, Brad's wife. Craig got his snorkeling in and then came and gave me his mask. he had little swimming pool goggles. His plan was to take me to the good parts so I could see some fish. I felt bad that I was taking his mask, but went with him. The first time I put my face in the water, I was incredulous. His mask didn't leak. I could snorkle without water sloshing around my nose.
That night, with a properly fitting mask, I boarded a little boat. I was surprised how nervous I was, again I refused to admit my nerves, gritted my teeth, and focused on the wind. I was relieved to find out we were still fairly close to the shore when we arrived. Somehow I was the first in line to get out of of the boat and swim to the surf board. The surf board was rigged with PVC pipe for handles and powerful flashlights pointing down into the water.
At the bottom of the site there were powerful searchlights pointing up to the surface. Our surf board accommodated 8. I was surrounded by my people.
There were many other boats with their surf boards. Our boat produced two boards full of people. We were like gigantic petalled flowers floating in the ocean. The ocean glowed with the lights from the bottom and the lights from the top. I was floating in 35 feet of water (and yes, I knew how deep it would be before I even got on the boat). Looking down we saw the SCUBA divers on the bottom. We saw the columns of light. We saw silver fish darting in the light. We floated through bubble clouds produced by the SCUBA divers. And then they came. They soared in on their dark wings and danced in the lights. They would do big barrel rolls under us and we could see into their wide maws and through their gills. We got to swim with them for about an hour and a half. They were glorious!
What was really happening was the lights attracked the plankton and the plankton attracked the manta rays. They were just hungry.
So why am I talking about this in Sacrament Meeting? This was a dream of mine that I didn't dare to dream. I had too many liabilities to even think of dreaming this dream. I had no business dreaming about this. But there I was.
The gospel teaches us that we can make it back to Heaven and live with God again. Here we are on Earth, with all our habits and sins; with all our lack of understanding; with all our defiance and stubbornness; with all our inability. How is it possible?
Alma teaches us that faith starts with desire, " . . . even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words" (32:27).
If that desire is strong enough, you can block out doubt and fear. I wanted to snorkle with the manta rays to badly that I made myself do something I was very afraid to do. I didn't just jump in though. I practiced first. I started small. Small where the misunderstandings revealed themselves, with a little push from Heaven.
Faith is like a muscle. Or faith is like a verb. Either way, it requires action. Alma further says, ". . . it beginneth to enlarge my soul; yea, it beginneth to enlighten my understanding, yea, it beginneth to be delicious to me" (32:28). I was rewarded immediatly when I first put my leaky-masked face in the water with the sight of the amazing yellow tangs, and I was hungry for more. We started where I could still stand. We got to where I didn't need my personal floaty. My people took me to places wehre I saw more and more beautiful fish. Before I ever stepped off that boat into 35 feet of water in the dark, I was truly hooked and had gained confidence in myself, but more importantly I had confidence in my people.
Repentance, or coarse correction, is next. We all fail. We are not bothered by babies learning how to walk. We see them fall time and again and know that it is just a part of learning. My neice would throw tantrums when she fell. My boys would walk with their hands waving in the air for balance. They would fall time and time again, but they kept getting up. They were driven to learn.
I suffered with a leaky mask. I didn't understand the basic tenant of snorkling, but I still got in the water. I was driven to learn.
I believe we all have a drive to return home. The trick is to not get discouraged and give up. Repentance is just part of the process. We can see our toddlers mistakes before they make them and we still love them. They can cry and throw a massive tantrum and we still love them. As they grow, they can destroy our property and damage our house and our neighbor's house and we still love them. We replace broken glasses, lost silverware, shattered windows and wrecked cars and we still love them.
Repentance is how Jesus replaces what we destroy and how He restores what we lose. He still loves us. We just need to trust Him. Isaiah tell us, "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they whall be as wool" (1:18).
When we get baptized, we join the Church. We become members. We promise to get involved. As we come to Church every week, we partake of the Sacrament and promise to follow Jesus. In return we are promised wonderful blessings. Jesus spoke to Oliver through Joseph, "Behold, thou art Oliver, and I have spoken unto thee because of thy desires; therefore treasure up these words in thy heart. Be faithful and diligent in keeping the commandments of God, and I will encircle thee in the arms of my love" (D&C 6:20). Is this not a promise to all of us? Are we willing to receive this heavenly hug?
What must we do? We must read our scriptures. We must pray. We must attend Church. We must accept callings. We must make our visits. We must clean the church building. We must help our neighbors. We must get all in. In somewhat of a broken metaphore, I had to get out of the boat (not the good ship Zion, of course -- I am still in the Good Ship Zion) and get in the water to see the fish and eventually the manta rays. I had to face my deficiencies and my fears.
We then put ourselves in a position to receive the Holy Ghost. The ordinance is potential. Our obedience ipens the door to his companionship. He can show us things that we didn't even know we could do. Perhaps Paul said it best when he said, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Phil 4:13). There are times when it seems just too hard, that is the time to not give up. If we can persevere, we can witness miracles. He will help us even when we don't know we need help. He will answer our heartfelt prayers in ways that will benefit us most, usually in ways that are beyond our understanding. For example, when I prayed about finding that mouthpiece, He knew there was a better way. I needed a new face mask, something I just didn't understand. He answered my need, not my request.
The Gospel of Jesus Christ has no end point. It is eternal. As we strive to live the Gospel, we become refined; our lives change; and we become instruments in the hands of God, Himself, to bless our families, our friends and others.
I am so grateful for the Gospel. For all the many chances I have been given. I am grateful for my family and the love and support they give me. They teach me to trust Jesus, for all love is a reflection of His love.
