Angles We Have Heard on High

Boaz has been practising piano again this week. Today while I was upstairs ironing shirts, I heard lovely Christmas music to lift my spirits and gladden my heart. He ran through the song once with just a few spots that he struggled with and then moved on to other hymns.

His days are not what he would choose this summer, but the sweet music is a blessing for me.

Father's Day

This is eleven years since I've been able to say Happy Father's Day to my dad on the phone. I lived out of state for years before that, but I always tried to go home at least once a year to see him. Since the move, all my pictures are packed away. I've scoured my Facebook pictures; and those of my sisters. (Do you hear that I have no hope that my brothers would have posted pictures of any kind?) I have looked at the galleries of Family Search and Ancestory. I will have to look for the pictures of him that I love and remember. He died before I got a digital camera. All the pictures I have of him are on film.

But every time I look in the mirror I see parts of him.

I have been known to say, in exasperation, that my dad had Andy Rooney eyebrows and he passed them down to me.

If you don't know who Andy is, I found some pictures of his eyebrows. He used to do the last part of 60 Minutes.

Do you see the untamed wilderness that hood his tired eye? My dad's weren't as bad as Andy's, but Joyce also had him go to the barber and have his tamed from time to time. But you get the idea of what could happen.

This past week I took the clippers I use to cut the boys hair, put on a #2 guard and mowed my eyebrows down. I have used scissors to varying degrees of effectiveness, but last time I got my hair cut the stylist shared that she has used the #1 guard to do eyebrows before. That was a revelation to me. I wanted a way to have even eyebrow hairs and my previous trimming left much to be desired. At times I think I had individual eyebrow hairs that were an inch long. And they grow so fast that I can be surprised and dismayed by the growing wilderness.

Here is a picture of my hairy, poorly-trimmed eyebrow and my dad's nose that sits in the middle of my face.

I have his red-headed skin, if not his hair. I burn or fry in the sun. 

I have made piece with his nose on my face, I used to hate it. I am learning how to tame his eyebrows. I have learned, at great pain, how to protect my skin, although sometimes I still forget. But all these things remind me of him.

The pictures I have of my dad are when he was young. And as I think about it, really it is what he looks like now. Back in his prime and strength.

My dad when he still had his hair, when his eyes were healthy, when he could trust his heart and he could breathe.

I think about him at times. I wonder if he is happy with me and the choices I have made. I wonder if checks in on me from time to time. I wonder if he watches my boys grow and is perhaps a guardian angle when they are young and stupid. I wonder if he is perhaps my guardian angel and helps me navigate these busy roads as I go about my day of being the bus to my boys.

He taught me to be kind. He reminded me to call my mother. He asked my about my car and how my job was going. He gave me the courage to leave Utah and go and find my future, and then he asked me when I was coming home.

I remember fishing trips. I remember hikes and camping out. I remember talks on the back porch and phone calls checking in. I remember his stories. He was a natural story-teller and loved to tell about his early years. He had stories about us kids - all the funny things we did as we grew up. He loved to laugh and making other people laugh. Humor was his gift. 

He taught me about living an honorable life. He shared his mistakes and how he turned them into his triumphs. He thought deeply and knew what the important things in life were. 

I am happy he is no longer trapped in a dimming body, but I miss him greatly.

I love you, Dad.

Scripture

This is a scripture that I have loved for years.

Life cycles around to hard and trying times and I turn to this scripture for strength and hope.

This scripture reminds me that I can trust His promises, even though I don't understand how it will all work out. It's the whole framing thing that I wrote about recently. 

Trusting that He understands, even when I don't. Trusting that He has power when I feel all my power drain away. Trusting that He can deliver when I feel totally trapped.

It seems like a lot of my recent scripture posts have been about dealing with trials.

I am currently in a happy place. Life is moving along nicely and we like where we are at. The boys are doing just fine. Craig is doing well at his job. I have found a good niche at the Family Search Library and in the ward.

Maybe the best time to have these ponderings are when life seems good and I am secure enough to know where the frame is. This has given me pause, should I look for some wood to knock? Should I brace for the incoming missle? Do I get ready to hold on tight? Or can I learn the lesson in the peace of my life enough to not have to go through the laboratory of affliction?

Or maybe this is the write up after the labs. I like that way of looking at it better. The putting things together after messiness has been cleaned up a bit. The acknowledgement of strength gained and faith found.

Most of my angst is watching the state of the world and our nation's determination to rush to a state of godlessness and self-fulfillment at the expense of everyone else.

But there again, I can trust Him that his arm is still powerful. He is in charge. He knows what will happen and has a plan to save His faithful children. So I have to remain faithful and do my part. Everything will work out - to quote President Hinckley. The Brethren will warn and guide and lead us safely through. 

Penultimate day

It was the seventh/sixth grade award assembly today. I got two calls from teachers telling me Boaz was getting awards. Craig took time off and we found some friends to sit by.

They ran through a lot of names in just over an hour.

Boaz received an award for Math and one for Reading.

I zoomed in as much as my camera would allow. Boaz is in the blue shirt next to the taller guy in the blue hat (who is the son of our friends that we were sitting by).

After the assembly I wanted to get a close up. Boaz refused to stay still.

But I did get a good picture of his cute smile. 

Today was the last full day of school. Tomorrow he has half a day and then we can relax into the summer.

Although I did warn him we are going to focus on merit badges. Second time around and I am seasoned. Now I know what we need to do and I am on a mission to get him through to eagle in a timely fashion. He's not too excited, but I am.

Second one

I have a slew of lovely green leaves that promise beautiful blooms. I water them and watch glossy leaves unfurl. I look for the hint of white that is the promise of a lilly. 

This is the second cala that has braved the season. I'm wondering if it is a seasonal thing. 

It is beatifiul and it is a little bit of hope for future blooms. 

My little garden

We had a misting rain yesterday morning. It was enough for the plants to gather water droplets on leaves and petals and bejewel the garden.

A few pictures.

Red velvety rose kissed by the rain.

Sweet peach rose enjoying the rain.

The Calla Lillies gathering rain drops and the shy praying mantis posing for pictures.

My fingers for reference. This mantis is the only one I've been able to see for a while. He is good at hiding and he is growing. Sometimes I wonder if the ever present birds have found him and eaten him up, but then he shows up and my heart rejoices. So silly to be so concerned over an insect. 

Baby lemons. It's been fun watching them develop. 

My transplanted rose. All the leaves are new growth since the move. I pruned back the existing leaves hoping to spur the new growth, and she is happy and thriving.

I'm not much of a gardener, but my few little projects seem to enjoy the back patio. I'm wondering if I can add some veggies, but the planned July and early August visits to family have me worried.

Scripture

A new scripture today. I have been taking my time through Isaiah. I haven't wanted to rush through.

Today while I was waiting for Boaz to get done with school (there is still one more week), I found these verses.

Verse 8 caught my attention first. Jacob was chosen, he was called as a servant. But what he said about Abraham is why I decided to use this verse. Abraham is the friend of God. There are a few verses where He names His friends, but not really a lot. I longed for that to be said of me. I think I still have a long way to go, but maybe He can still say it as I struggle and fail. 

If He can't say that about me yet, maybe He can say He has chosen me and not cast me away. I am still on the Team. I am maybe on the practise squad, but my name is still on the roster. How do I know that, because I keep choosing Him. Some days I'm better than others, but I still choose Him everyday.

And then verse 10 is the text for one of my favorite songs. The melody sounds in my mind - How Firm a Foundation.

Truely I think that is the reason I love Isaiah so much. I read and randomly hear melodies of songs that I love. Sometimes I can't remember the title of the song and get stuck in the verse and can't move off it. But so much music has been inspired by Isaiah, so as I read his poetic words, music and melody frequently play in my mind.

Fast Sunday

In our ward, the young men wear "the tie" on fast Sunday. 

They didn't want me to take the picture. I had to threaten their dinner - not funny on fast Sunday. The tie has many country flags on it. A reminder of potential future missions.

There is something wonderful seeing about twenty people wearing the tie. It is also a reminder of brotherhood and the power of quorums. It is a reminder of unity in the priesthood. It is a powerful symbol. 

Last day of early morning seminary

We all made it. 

First 12 year old camp out

Loaded down with is bags. 

His backpack with is 10 essentials. 

His sleeping bag. 

His mats to sleep on. 

His duffel full of his pillow and extra socks and underwear. 

His food assignment - chips and bananas. 

Hope he had fun. Sitting in the parking lot waiting for him to get back. 

Josh

I had five pictures of this morning. He got a hold of my phone and started deleting. I caught on to what he was doing with just two left. 

He is a stinker. For real. 

Still he is cute. 

Scripture

I'm reading in Isaiah. I love him. I thought I would have so many verses that I wanted to write about. I found myself passing by some verses - thinking perhaps they were too common, whatever that means. Then I found myself lost in some of the historical chapters.

This morning I read chapter 29. This is a very familiar chapter, filled with verses that have become well loved and well read. Parts of this chapter are quoted in the Book of Mormon, indeed this is the chapter that prophecizes of the learned man rejecting the words of the book. In essence, this chapter fortels the coming forth of the Book of Mormon.

It also talks of a wicked world. It tells of our time so clearly. This verse has always stood out to me.

This world seems to turn things upside down quite often. Our culture is so busy "accepting" new things that it has turned its back on the foundation of our society. We are clearly upside down.

Since I have been quilting I have learned a bit about framing. Not the actual nuts and bolts of the wood structure, but the part about designing the picture. I have had to decide what is the important part of the picture and I have framed it with borders of fabric. I put effort and thought into choosing colors and hues. I pay attention to contrast. I watch for light and dark. I consider the picture I want to frame and the fabrics I will use to construct it.

I have had to learn sewing techniques. I have learned about mitered corners and medallion corners. I consider the color to set off the "picture". I work to have the frame not take away from the picture by being too ornate or bold.

In doing so, I have more understanding of the entire design. Understanding - a big word. I know I get stuck in life in the middle of the design and forget to step back and look at the entire picture. Sometimes I even know I am doing that. I know about the growth that is happening and I can even be thankful for it. The next day, or hour, or minute I can become so overwhelmed or distressed or angry that I loose the frame, or point of reference.

We struggle for ease and comfort and reject work and growth. Or at least I do. I can get so caught up - in the thick of thin things. (Google just lead me to Neil A Maxwell for that phrase.) I get stuck in the trees and forget the forest. I get caught up in one element of the overall design. However many ways there are to say it, I wish I could remember the lesson. I wish I could maintain my perspective and trust the Creator with the design of my life - the design of my kids' lives. I watch them with my heart in my mouth and stress and fret and worry about things that don't matter.

I must remember what my friend Kay said in Sacrament meeting. She is getting ready to serve with her husband as mission president and mission mom. She was worried about her mother who is in failing health and a non-member who doesn't understand why her daughter is leaving for three years to a foreign country. Kay said she heard Him say, "I can take care of her so much better than you can."

And there you have it.

Trust the Creator.

Trust the Redeemer.

Trust the Savior.

Trust Him in all his attributes and titles.

He can do what He says He will do.

My job is do what He tells me to do.

My job is to trust He is working with my children to bring out their strengths.

My job is to love them and teach them and support them. To even badger them into completing assignments and chores. My job is to support them in the hard spots of life. But for real the hard part is to trust them to the mercy of God who can honestly do a much better job than I can.

Cookie palooza

Craig's sister brings her family to Disneyland every year. This year everybody made it. All six siblings and their spouses with kids in tow. Almost 30 people.

Sunday we went to their condo and visited with them. It was so good to see them all. So good to catch up with those we haven't seen in so long.

They left for pictures, and Craig came home and began baking.

Four batches later and this is what our kitchen looked like.

He is the best maker of cookies that I know. We shared his bounty with his sister and her family. A bribe to come back again and invite us to a few activities (?).

We also went to the beach on Monday with them. I stayed clear of the water this time and ended up burn-less. That is a plus. The boys had fun in the sand and the surf. They came home kissed by the sun, but it evened out into a nice tan.

After running in and out of the waves, they settled into sand castle building.

Boaz and Tyler got buried. The kids gave Boaz a shapely figure and Tyler posed with his new "girlfriend".

Fun to watch the little cousins play with each other and work through cousin relationships. Oldest toddler girls dealing with other oldest toddler girls. Fun day at the beach.