A good life

I am at times petulant. Instead of seeing the silver lining, I see the cloud.

Yesterday I spent the day at school with my kindergartner. I helped out with reading assessments. There are 31 sight words they are supposed to know by the end of the year. Cute little words like: a, I, am, it, is, my, me . . . all the way up to said and little. I have been working with Boaz and wondered at where he stood in class. The other kids seemed to know the words better and I had to give myself the "he's doing fine" talk.

So yesterday, Boaz missed only one word -- said. It's tricky because how do you explain that sometimes an "a" sounds like an "e" to a five year old. I don't know the rule that is used in this particular case, if there even is one. Anyway, kids eventually learn it and all is well. The other smart kids in class missed a few more. One cute girl missed 6 and another cute boy missed 2. I had a glowy feeling, a bit self congratulatory at the accomplishments of my child.

The last boy of the day came out with me and we got to work. I've worked a bit with him before. He didn't have any homework stickers. So they asked me to help him with his homework so he could get a sticker. Once I explained it to him, he did it so well. A smart boy who wanted to please and do well. A boy that just needed some one on one attention. A boy that apparently doesn't get that kind of attention at home.

So, back to yesterday. This very smart boy knew the first two words. His happy face looked at me as he told me the words he knew. For the remaining 29 words he didn't want to look at me and just shook his head. I tried to keep it positive and compliment him on being brave. He broke my heart.

I am blessed that I don't have to work. I can stay home with my boys and volunteer in their classrooms. Starting today, I will go in twice a week and work with my sweet, smart friend that needs some special one on one time. I know he can learn these few small words. I want to see his happy confident face as he begins to learn to his potential.

It's a good life when I can find ways to help others and spread just a little joy in the heart of a sweet, intelligent boy that wants to learn how to read. Today, I see the silver lining.