Asking the right question.

Thea went to a meeting where Elder Bednar spoke. She has told Craig about it and he told me a bit. 

He started out saying it was not "Stump the Apostle" but they could ask questions. I laughed. Craig said Thea enjoyed the interactive meeting. 

I was getting ready and started thinking what questions would I have for a member of The Twelve. I have been in a similar meeting, but have always been to quiet to ask. And honestly, have never really thought about a question that would be worthy to ask. No attempt to stump him, just a question worthy of his time.  One that I could not find in my own study. 

I had a question on my mission. I asked to speak with a member of the temple presidency and he gave me a very good answer. My question was - with a dad that had not been active my whole childhood and a mother who had left the Church, where did I belong? Did I have a choice which family I would be with forever?  My parents were, and are, divorced. His answer was that Jesus was smart enough and loved us all enough to make the call. I just had to trust in Him. 

That has been my answer for most of my tough questions. If I didn't know it, He did and I could trust Him. 

Then in a round about way and one I could not retrace, because I tend to think in dizzying circles, I came up with a question where that is not the answer. 

How do I forgive someone I don't really want to forgive?

I have read somewhere that forgiveness is a gift bestowed by Heaven. How do I pray for something I don't really want?  

And I was given the very simple answer.  I don't pray for something I don't want, I pray for something I do want. 

I want to be obedient.

I want to follow the commandments. 

I want to return to Him. 

So, today my prayer became, help me follow Christ and find forgiveness for those I am having a hard time forgiving. 

Forgiveness isn't about them or me. It is all about Him. 

Maybe I am growing up, finally.